


In Which People Aren't So Different

by CheetahLeopard2



Series: Your favs have Psychosis [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abilify, Hallucinations, Multi, Paranoia, Psychosis, lighthearted for the most part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 14:17:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14812970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheetahLeopard2/pseuds/CheetahLeopard2
Summary: Supportive boyfriends find out about mental disorder in their bf





	In Which People Aren't So Different

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightshade002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightshade002/gifts), [AlannaRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlannaRose/gifts), [idontevenlogic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idontevenlogic/gifts), [Blackthornsbriar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackthornsbriar/gifts), [lenaprr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lenaprr/gifts).



> I wrote this to help people accept themselves.  
> You aren't your disorder.  
> You don't need to be fixed, just managed. It's a disorder, not a disease.  
> I'm there for you.  
> You're wonderful.

_ I think I’m being followed. _

Tooru can’t help the feeling, even though he’s just walking home from school in broad daylight through suburbs at the end of March.

It’s ridiculous, and Tooru knows it is, but that doesn’t stop his heart from going 130 beats per minute. (he checked on his wearfit, or, well, the app on his phone connected to the wearfit)

Hajime is walking besides him, and doesn’t pay attention to what’s on Tooru’s screen as they trade complaints about homework, luckily enough.

Tooru can  _ feel  _ the prickle of a non-existent stare on the back of his neck, and he casually times his swiveling around to walk backwards and scan the street behind them with a particularly heated complaint making his timing discrete. As expected, there’s no one there.

Tooru turns back around to walk normally and Hajime gives him a look he can’t decipher as they fall into a companionable silence.

 

When they reach Tooru’s house, instead of walking a it further to his own next door, Hajime grabs Tooru’s elbow before he can go up the walkway, “Hey, can I stay over tonight?” 

Normally Hajime wouldn’t even bother to ask, but Tooru is grateful he did anyway, because today... Well, today is not a good day for Tooru to have company. It’s not like he feels he’s going to have a breakdown, but judging on how just the walk home was, he’s going to be on full alert. In other words, Tooru doesn’t want Hajime to be around to question his paranoid ass.

“Sorry Iwa-chan,” he says, “I have to clean, so-”

Hajime scoffs a bit, “When has a dirty house ever stopped you before?” 

And he’s right, Tooru really should’ve picked a better excuse, and it’s too late now. 

“Sure,” he says, turning away from Hajime and walking up to the door so that he doesn’t have to attempt a smile, “Come on in.”

“Auntie!” Hajime calls while they take off their shoes, frowning slightly when there’s no answer.

“She’s at a board meeting until ten,” Tooru informs him absentmindedly, flicking on the lights and scanning the entryway to make sure nothing was moved.

Hajime hums and walks ahead to the stairs, turning when Tooru doesn’t follow.

“You go ahead Iwa-chan,” Tooru says, tone flippant even as his heart jackhammers against his ribs, “I’m going to get a drink of water.”

Hajime shrugs and continues upstairs.

Tooru waits until he hears his door open to walk around the main floor, checking each room quickly before glancing at the locks on all the windows and the back door.

All clear. 

Tooru breathes a sigh of relief and turns and walks into the kitchen. 

He pulls out a glass and puts some tap water in it to make it seem like he actually drank something, and then something taps his shoulder.

Tooru jumps and whirls around, and Hajime takes a step backwards, eyes wide, “You okay?”

Tooru laughs nervously, “Fine, fine Iwa-chan!” 

Hajime’s eyes narrow, both at the laugh and at Tooru’s repetitive fast speech.

There’s a sound upstairs, like something being knocked over, and Tooru is careful not to flinch, because Hajime hasn’t reacted to it.

“Okay…” Hajime doesn’t sound the least bit convinced, but walks over to the fridge and pours himself a glass of grape juice anyways.

There’s another sound upstairs, and this time Tooru can’t help his flinch, eyes widening and darting to the staircase. Hajime frowns and sets down his grape juice, “Hey.”

Tooru doesn’t respond, doesn’t notice, staring at the stairs as though he’s waiting for something to emerge.  _ It’s not real.  _  He repeats to himself.

Hajime is suddenly blocking his line of vision, frown in place but concern given away by the downward turn of his eyebrows, he grabs Tooru’s hands and Tooru grips them like a lifeline.

“Hey,” he repeats, words distorted, “you’re shaking.”

“Oh,” Tooru manages.

Hajime prys his hands loose and presses closer to hug Tooru, bowing his head to tuck it under Tooru’s chin.

Tooru wraps his arms around Hajime and closes his eyes,  _ It’s not real. _

“Oikawa,” Hajime sounds puzzled, “Your heart’s going really really fast.”

“That’s because you’re here Iwa-chan,” even Tooru’s voice is shaking.

“No it’s not,” Hajime says softly, pushing, “I usually calm you down and we both know it.”

Tooru doesn’t respond.

Hajime pulls away and Tooru lets him, lets him pull Tooru by the wrist towards the stairs, “Let’s just go to your room and do our homework, Sillykawa.” 

_ It’s not real _ . Tooru continues in his mind as he walks up the stairs, peering into each room they pass until they enter Tooru’s. All are empty, as is his room, and he finally beats back the worst of his paranoia.

Tooru lets out a sigh of relief and flops onto his bed with a breath of a laugh.

“You good now?” Hajime asks.

“Yeah, Iwa-chan,” Tooru smiles at him, “much better.”

 

\---

 

 “So,” Takahiro drawls as he sits down next to Tooru, Hajime not far behind, “April fools is coming up.”

Tooru makes a face, and Hajime elbows him, “What’s that look for?”

“April fools is…” Tooru hums, unsure of how to phrase his thoughts, “Not my thing.”

“That’s because you’re impossible to prank. Like last year with the fake snow,” Hajime says nonchalantly, as though he hadn’t just changed Tooru’s perception of his memories.

“Or when I dressed as  grim reaper and followed you around,” Takahiro nods in agreement.

“What?!” Tooru exclaims, “That was-” he stops himself before he can say ‘real’, “you guys?!”

“Yeah,” Issei smirks lazily, “Who else?”

“Rude!” Tooru shrieks, covering up his panic, “What else have you done?” 

Takahiro just winks, and that’s  _ really _ not helping Tooru’s perception of reality. 

Tooru does his best to push aside the thought, though, because this is the first time in a long time that the four of them have been able to meet up. 

Tooru’s phone dings on the picnic table at that moment, and Takahiro is the one to pick it up, “Ohhhh does Oikawa have a  _ girlfriend _ ?” He teases, and easily unlocks the phone.

Tooru slams his hands down on the table, startling the others, “THE ONLY STRAIGHT I AM IS A STRAIGHT UP BITCH MAKKI! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW ME BETTER THAN THAT!” 

Issei and Takahiro burst out laughing, while Hajime looks around to be sure the park is empty.

Of course it’s empty, Tooru would’ve known if anyone had come close.

Takahiro checks the text anyways, “From Walmart,” He begins in a goofy voice that peters out as he continues, “Your prescription has been filled, please pick it up within the next twenty-four hours?” 

Tooru takes a sudden interest in his nails when the others turn to look at him. 

The silence continues for another few seconds before Tooru’s phone dings again. This time Issei takes it from Takahiro and scans the contents.

“From Mom,” he reads, in a puzzled voice, “Tooru, don’t forget to pick up your meds while you’re here, April Fools is coming up and we don’t want you to be triggered by any,” his phone dings again before Issei even finishes, “pranks. From Mom, also sorry I never told you this but last year was real it was your frie-”

Tooru’s had enough of his life spread out before him, and he grabs his phone from Issei, moving to stand up with a nervous laugh, “Well, I guess I have a prescription to pick up so I’ll be back-”

Issei stands up as well, “I drove you here.” 

Tooru’s smile fractures, “Yeah.”

“We’ll come with,” Takahiro says, tone leaving no room for argument, “We haven’t hung out in a long time.”

Tooru grits his teeth, “Fine.”

Hajime smiles reassuringly, “You know we aren’t going to judge you.”

“Yeah,”  _ You’re just going to have a different idea of me. _

The ride is mostly silent. For the first few minutes, that is.

“What do you need meds for?” Issei asks Tooru, who’s sitting in the passenger seat. 

Tooru can practically feel the other two tune in from their hushed conversation in the backseat.

When it becomes clear Tooru isn’t going to answer, Takahiro pipes up, “What did your mom mean when she said last year was real?”

Tooru sits in his silence, not answering, 

“How could you be triggered?” Hajime asks, finally.

Tooru squeezes his eyes shut and leans his head against the window, settling in for the remaining five minutes and tuning his friends out.

When they get there Tooru is the first one out, walking away from the car without waiting to see if the others were keeping up.

Of course, they catch up just as Tooru reaches the pharmacy desk.

“Pick up for Oikawa Tooru, please.” He says in his customer service voice, and the man at the counter smiles at him.

“I need to see some ID.” Tooru takes out his driver’s license, and the man turns and grabs a white bag, “Abilify, one and a half tablet dose per day?” he checks, and Tooru nods, thanking him and turning to his friends.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Issei nods, and Tooru pretends not to notice when Takahiro pulls out his phone on the way to the car with a whisper to Hajime of, “How do you spell Abilify?”

Hajime shrugs, and grabs the bag when Tooru sets it down in the car, “A-b-i-l-i-f-y.”

Tooru just sighs, having mostly given up by now.

“It’s a medication for psychosis and depression,” Issei speaks up from the front from where he’s been oddly silent, and Tooru turns to him in shock.

“How the hell did you know that?!” 

“I take it,” Issei shrugs, “Oh look, we’re back at the park.”

“Don’t try to change the subject!” Tooru shrieks, scrambling to follow Issei out of the car.

Hajime and Takahiro exchange a bewildered look and follow the other two.

Hajime interrupts Tooru and Issei as they question each other, “What’s psychosis?”

Tooru and Issei freeze and turn to him, “Uhhhhhhhh.”

Takahiro holds up his phone, “According to the internet, “Psychosis may occur as a result of a psychiatric illness like schizophrenia. In other instances, it may be caused by a health condition, medications, or drug use. Possible symptoms include delusions, hallucinations, talking incoherently, and agitation. The person with the condition usually isn't aware of his or her behavior. Treatment may include medication and talk therapy.”

“And paranoia.” Issei adds.

“I always thought that went along with delusions,” Tooru muses nervously.

“Paranoia?” Hajime asks, “Like yesterday when you kept checking the house and freaking out?”

Tooru grins as a defence mechanism instead of responding.

“You guys know this doesn’t change anything,” Takahiro says, “I mean, you’re all still you. Like, I have anxiety but that doesn’t change much.”

“Yeah,” Hajime agrees, “Like if there’s something we need to not do tell us but otherwise…” he trails off, gesturing as though he doesn’t have the words.

Tooru and Issei exchange a smile, and that’s that.

 

\---

 

“Hey Tooru,” Issei knocks on the door of Tooru’s room in their shared apartment, and Tooru looks up with a hum, “Can we do a reality check?”

“Sure,” Tooru sits up, “delusion,” he does air quotes, “or hallucination?”

“Hallucination,” Issei says, and Tooru notices the way his arms are twitching, “Touch. Can you check me for bugs?”

“Sure,” Tooru beckons him closer, “turn around.”

Issei does, and Tooru takes a few seconds to check, “You’re bug free!” 

“Thanks,” Issei says, relaxing a bit, but his arms are still twitching, and Tooru frowns.

“You still feel them.”

“Yeah.” Issei sounds defeated, and Tooru stands up.

“Would it be too overwhelming if I,” He does air quotes again, “Brush them off?”

Issei looks surprised for half a second before he smiles, “Nah, go for it.” 

Tooru brushes his hands along Issei’s arms until they stop twitching, “Better?”

Issei takes Tooru’s hands and brings them up to his face, “Much,” he says, kissing Tooru’s wrists.

“Mattsun!” Tooru’s face burns, “You can’t just do things like that!”

Issei laughs and draws Tooru into a hug, “It’s not like our other boyfriends are going to be jealous.”

“But my heart Issei! My heart will explode!” Tooru whines melodramatically.

Issei laughs, and rocks Tooru to a song only he could hear.

The night ends well.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment????  
> My tumblr: @cheetahleopard


End file.
